CONTEST: Orange Box Goodness!!

Here's the deal:

Write us something - a poem, a story, a review, a slashfic, a childhood anectdote - of 100 words or less and post it here. You'll be entered into a drawing for a gift copy of The Orange Box from us! If you already have it, we'll send you an H&K Care Package instead!

Deadline is 2:00 AM Nov. 29th (that's wee hours tonight, folks), so get writin'!

In times we shall follow
In greatest we shall pass
In nothing we seem hollow
In darkness blinding fast
We shall forever become
A raised autumn wind
For nothing can be won
Without something from within

Noel M.

O Pikachu, Pikachu, wherefore art thou Pikachu?

Kool
Yes he really is
Likes Goldeneye so he's awesome
Even enjoys Turtles in Time, can't hate on that

Her mother is hot (supposedly)
A true lezbian (or lesbian, whichever you prefer)
Likes to pick on Kyle
Evil (maybe not, I haven't decided)
Y chromosome is not present

ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
I HATE PEOPLE
MOST LIKELY YOU

I HATE YOUR NAME
I LIVE IN SOUTH
IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT
SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
FOREVER BITTER
THAT'S TRUE

I HATE KYLE
HE SUCKS
EVEN WITH ALL THE HELP IN THE WORLD
IT'S STILL NO LUCK

ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
DIGADIGADIGA
FLU

KAWAIIJEN, GOONCH, VAUGHN
NARZACK, GEEKFETISH, NOELINO
HEAT, COZENED, EDDIE
NECROLET, NOWAYGUY, MAILKHALO

ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
I STILL HATE YOU

Kids are big trouble
You better watch out
Let your eyes wander
Even a lout
She'll call the police
United against pervs
Criminals go to jail
Kicking and screaming
Soap-dropping Narzack begins to look pale

The boys is on his way home, with a hitch ride he got from his boy.
Becues he didnt have any money for the bus. Steps out at home even if the night is young.
puts the key in the hole and open a close door. steps in and feels the mood to be bull"bullshit",
going to passout on the sofa. But he choice to go up, but some steps up the stairs he quick turns around.
when he hear a worldwar from the parents bedroom, throws him self on the sofa and clinch the pillows to his ears.
Clinch them so hard tils it hurts, but the boy He still hears them. He whill probly fell a sleep when he grows tierd of crying
and they whill probley quite when they are tierd of shouting. the boy thinks "what if they are thinking bad of him"
even when they dont se that hes geting crush, he's thinking about there fake smiles the next morning.
he sits in the sofa and right next is his father, hes following carefully how his father changing thro the channels watching
for something good to watch. They dont talk much, and they both seem to notic it.
Only short comments on whats happening on screen and then its silence.
The kind of silence thats makes you feel uncomfteble.
his father stops on one channel, he stops the silence but saying "this here this seems good"
the picture on the tv shows an old guy when he discuss the way his bin to his childrens
line after line, and the silence is still there.
the actress says "I havent bin a good father"
*click* the tv whents off
the boy looks on to his father and the father looks back, deep in there eyes they meet
and he says "my son, me and your mother is geting a divorce"
The divorce is already on its way and his father is looking for a place, while
his mother is prowling around town.
when the boy still in his seat, no one askt him what he wanted.
he calls his dad, no response he lets it go one more tone and it hangs up
he calls his mom, she dont have time, shes in a meeting whith her lawer.
he runs away, he jumps on his bike and ride. wonder if they will even notic that his gone.
he rides with no goal, but he finds it. he stops, drops the bike to the ground. Stops right next to the cliff,
The boy throws a rock in the water without any other regard then hearing the splash.
The boy throws a rock in the water without any other regard then hearing the splash.
The boy throws a rock in the water without any other regard then hearing the splash.
The boy throws.

ONCE upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door --
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; -- vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow -- sorrow for the lost Lenore --
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore --
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me -- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door --
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; --
This it is, and nothing more,"

Presently my heart grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you" -- here I opened wide the door; --
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word "Lenore!"
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore --
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; --
'Tis the wind and nothing more!"

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not an instant stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door --
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door --
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore --
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning -- little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door --
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered -- not a feather then he fluttered --
Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before --
On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore --
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never-nevermore.'"

But the Raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore --
What this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet violet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by angels whose faint foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from the memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! -- prophet still, if bird or devil! --
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted --
On this home by Horror haunted -- tell me truly, I implore --
Is there -- is there balm in Gilead? -- tell me -- tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!' said I, "thing of evil! -- prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us -- by that God we both adore --
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore --
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked upstarting --
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted -- nevermore.

I write an iambic pentameter.
I do this because I am really bored.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Once upon a time, there was a cute girl.
She was tall, pretty, and had orange hair.
She lives in the tallest house in the world.
She had many of friends, including a bear.

She would always to go out on night walk.
She loved all the stars, the moon, the bats.
The girl was a lesbian vampire.
She would always rape with her raping mats.

One day, a kawaii girl named Jen came.
Lesbian vampires love Asians.
Jen slowly tip-toed to the large, tall, house.
Jen saw that the road was covered in raisins.

The vampire came in contact with Jen.
She kissed Jen vigorously on the cheek.
Jen felt extremely uncomfortable.
Jen also felt her panties spring a leek.

Jen and the vampire became soul-mates.
But Jen thought there was something missing still.
"What is your name?" Jen asked with a smug look.
Jill < 33.

If only I had a pennay
for every impression of “Jennay”,
I would cover my own driveway with hematite.

If only I had a nickel
for every mention of “fuzzy pickle”,
I could afford to pay Mayor’s bail.

If only I had a dime
for whenever Tom Cruise gave a girl a good time
…I wouldn't have any money to spend (causehe'sgay).

If only I had a quarter
for every time Ash let out a snorter,
lezcouch would upgrade to a lezjacuzzi.

If only I had a buck
for every “What the actual fuck”,
I might actually buy Kyle a friend.

But even if I were offered all the riches I see,
And in return, allow someone to take you all from me,
They'd take one look at Heat and say, "Nevermind, no blacks."

YOSHI: Who you are and why we hate you

Oh Yoshi you are a dinosaur
we have high expectations,
But you were over hyped!
Sometimes you change colors
But it doesn't matter to Haley.
Half the time Mario takes care of you
And for what? So you can score Shrooms?
You are so useless Yoshi.
Haley kills you every time!
You can't even save Kyle,
In the end Mario dies...

Girl, I know these last few months have been like heaven, but Heat has something he must tell you. Your mother has stolen my heart.

Haley's Mom, I could not believe it when I heard that a fine woman such as yourself had no man. Allow Heat to correct this cosmic injustice and give you the stimulation of both mind and body you deserve. The kind of stimulation that can only come from a young man in his prime.

I want you to come home straight from work. Don't worry about your prescriptions, baby, I have already picked them up from the pharmacy. When you open the door you will find a trail of rose petals leading to the bath. I will play a D'Angelo CD or maybe Raphael Saadiq. Amongst the candle light you will wash away the stresses of the day and prepare yourself for a night of passion. Once you have dried your body I will escort you to the bedroom where I will lay you down on sheets made of only the smoothest silk. I will give you a sensual massage, rubbing your body with the finest perfumes and scented oils from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. I will feed you chocolates and sweet fruits such as kiwi and strawberry. There will also be pumpkin truffles. You will feel the troubles of the world melt away as you lose yourself in the hedonistic pleasure. That is when I will hit it doggy style.

Damn.

Haley, I would be willing to break you off one last time.

This is a poem I wrote for my girlfriend


If i could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up everyday, To the sound of your breath on my neck, The warmth of your lips on my cheek, The touch of you fingers on my skin, And the feel of your Heart beating with mine, Knowing that i could never find that feeling for anyone else other then you, Its the best wish to come true for a guy as in love as i am with you

Here's some trivia....
Give me the goddamn Orange Box.
That is my entry.

A Haiku by Kanu.

Words are cool.
Wordswordswords.

your stream is awesome
i would love to win the prize
Haley and Kyle rock

it was a haiku hope u liked it from cowboy =]:{

In the land of Weebo Land lived a queen named Weebonia. She had all the Otaku guys after her. She was so popular, especially when she cosplays Naruto. Weebonia has a husband, Godzilla. They had a child named Princebatman. Even though English was the offical language in Weebo Land, People still spoke in basic Japanese. One day a terrible storm occurred, and all the Naruto manga was washed away forever. The people in Weebo Land were in deep sorrow. Many of them committed seppukus. Including Godzilla. Weebonia felt devestated after the lost of her husband, she always feared of being FOREVER ALONE. Princebatman was determined to re-write all the manga. So he did. 45 years later he died. He only completed one manga chapter. Weebonia, now a battered old hag, wanted to revive Weebo Land. So she called all of her weebo friends. But they all died. So she was all alone, FOREVER ALONE. Weebonia was desperate for help. So she called her back-up friend Kyle, living in nearby SuckLand. But Kyle couldn't understand her cry for help because it consisted of part broken Japanese and mediocre English. But Kyle came anyway. At the village, Weebonia asked Kyle to re-write all the Naruto manga so that the village can be restored. "DIGADIGADIAGDIGADIGADIGA" Kyle said. Weebonia was so happy she threw herself into Kyle and kissed him on the lips. Kyle threw up on her face. Weebonia licked it slowly off her face. 5 months later, Kyle completed all the Naruto manga and was greatly rewarded, sexually of course. But Kyle didn't allow it. Weebonia seemed confused into why Kyle didn't like her. Kyle explained that he was in love with Ryan Reynolds. Weebonia felt like she was betrayed. She wanted to do something about it, she wanted revenge. . . .on Ryan Reynolds.

"It seems to me," said the -Man of G,
"That time has come to rise and shine
and the will you serve is no doubt mine.
My benefactors have an awful lot
of investment in this plot.
You must take action and not be passive
and show them you are a valuable asset."

"I don't agree," said Gordon the Free,
who once studied hard at M.I.T.
"For decades I have been your pawn.
'I will not allow it for very long.
I will blow this citadel sky high
and the time of your reign's end is nigh!"

"It seems to me," said the -Man of G,
"You still think that you are free.
Your name deceives you; you belong
to investors that are very strong.
You've done your task, back to the cell.
Stasis for another decade! Farewell."

"We don't agree," said the Vortigaunts three,
"They are not yours. Free they are!
This woman, man, and his crowbar.
This citadel must survive
until our friends get out out alive.
Free from your control at last.
Find someone else for your dirty task."

"It seems to me," said the -Man of G,
I've underestimated the powers of thee.
Taken my benefactors' favorite chap?
We'll just see about that.
Mark my words, there will surely be
consequences you will not foresee."


- Adspted from Booker T. and W.E.B. by Dudley Randall (http://www.huarchivesnet.howard.edu/9908huarnet/randall.htm)


Edit: oh, I thought it had to be Half-Life-related. I should read the rules better.

ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
THIS IS MY POEM
AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT TOO

Megaman you rock
Awesome N.E.S hero
was my childhood


its sad how long it took me to come up with a simple haiku lol

Aren't haikus seven syllables in the middle line?

love is trying, love is lying,
love is constantly dying
love is bleeding, love is cheating
love is what we move when
we find mountains,
oh love
what fucked up things that we do
to those who we can't help but use.

>_>

justingogas wrote:

Aren't haikus seven syllables in the middle line?

Thanks for pointing that out lol changed to 7 now i feel even more retarded.

One time, when I was a child, I went to the beach. I saw some chick topless. It was cool. Fin.

Congratulations to HAWKEYE on his victory!