Guess the Plot of a Book You've Never Read

Inspired by Jim Halpert's first(and likely, only) meeting with the Finer Things Club, I thought it would be fun to select a well known book that you've never read and, based on the title and/or artwork, theorize the content.

I'll start.


Angela's Ashes
During the many clashes of the IRA and the English, a young boy's mother is blown to bits. What follows is his quest to give her a proper burial in the Catholic way. He has to journey across the wartorn country to bury her at her family plot.

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell
A fratboy inherits the throne of Hell. Hilarity ensues.


Alright, so there are my rather weak examples. Show me up!

Angela's Ashes:

Sounds like a sad story. The setting maybe takes place in during war time or the after effects of war. I think Angela is a sister or a mother that died with a terminal illness or killed in the war. Or Angela might of not died. Maybe ashes could be a representation of a deeper meaning or a common universal theme, like a motif or something. I wouldn't think that the story would be told in the view point of Angela. Most likely her child, father, husband, or sister.

I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell:

The title doesn't sound like a novel at all to me. I doubt there is a plot. Sounds like a title of a book with a collection of short stories on it, maybe poems. Or maybe it's one of those political books. Doesn't sound like something I would read.

On the Road

A man goes for a drive.

Les Miserables

Some people in France experience hard times.

Of Mice and Men

An ogre pets his dog too hard.

Into the Wild

A guy goes into the wildnerness and dies.

The Lovely Bones

An archeologist in Ireland uncovers a female skeleton from the early 1500's and, as he researches more about the bones, he learns about the life she lead and begins to fall in love with her.

The Handmaiden's Tale (Margaret Atwood)

There is a handmaiden. She likes to tell stories. She tells you one.

Suttree (Cormac McCarthy)

There's a place called Suttree. It's full of fucked up people who, most likely, rape and eat each other. Possibly not in that order.

Gone with the Wind (Margaret Mitchell)

An extreme amount of flatulence.

The Thin Man
About a man who moves to Australia to work for Telstra. After settling down he starts to get involved with a girl, she turns up dead and he is blamed, the only description the police have is that he is The Thin Man.

Gravity's Rainbow
This is a book about the refraction of light as it enters the exosphere and goes through the magnetosphere and ionosphere. Due to the lack of gravity as compared to earth the typical spectrum of the Rainbow (ROY G BIV) is instead seen as VIB G YOR

Twilight
This is a novel penned by Denton Von Zan, it is the definitive reference for Dragons. "You see they have great vision during the day, and even better vision at night. But in the failing light, they can't focus. Magic hour."

The Crippled God
God was driving around heaven in his honda civic at high speeds. Being a supreme being, he wasn't wearing his seat belt when he hit the speed bump and flew through the windshield. He wakes up 6 months later to find his legs are broken and he requires a wheelchair in this non-wheelchair accessible heaven. This story chronicles his crusade to get his legs back.


The Stand
After a terrible prank gone wrong, a man finds himself glued to a chair, unable to stand up straight. This story chronicles his struggle to free himself from his comfy prison.

House of Leaves

A lonely homeless man begins a lawn mowing business and builds himself a new place to live with the cuttings.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
People are recorded invading the personal space of strangers while yelling. Even during sex, the closeness is oddly uncomfortable.

Haley wrote:

The Lovely Bones

An archeologist in Ireland uncovers a female skeleton from the early 1500's and, as he researches more about the bones, he learns about the life she lead and begins to fall in love with her.

I want to read this book.

The Egg and I

A brave sperm and a fast talking egg are forced to strike up an alliance when the evil hormones of menopause begin to ravage the land.